Abuse of Men: We must denounce

Alongside the Abuse of Women, we must denounce the Abuse of Men. Finally the open secret is revealed. There are men who use their power to get sexual favors that would otherwise be forbidden dreams. Others who disgracefully abuse that power by force and who must be condemned, no matter what. 

But there are abuses of power also committed by womenThat’s what the italian essayist Barbara Benedettelli says, by presenting her new book, 50 Shades of Violence’ (Italian: ’50 sfumature di violenza’), published on November 9th by Cairo Editore.

The book collects data – mostly international – testimonies and dozens of news extrapolated from local newspapers, all of which show a staggering picture of female violence on men, alongside the better known male violence on women.

Regarding the scandal of sexual harassment, globally denounced by women against men of power, Benedettelli warns that “in order to defeat an evil, we must not hide another one, moreover if related to the first. If you do not denounce the other face of the medal, the system will not change. 

We do not only have to distinguish between the various forms of violence – the Author continues – and between these and the advances, but we must admit that women can also put them into practice. There are also come-ons, sexual harassment and abuses of power committed by women.

And there are women (a fierce minority) who enter in the rooms of the men of power with the clear and conscious intention of gaining some advantages, provoking and leveraging on the male weaknesses through the erotic seduction and, then, the blackmail”.

“Finally women appealed to the dignity and decided to put an end to the unfair ballet of ‘If you give it to me…’ – continues Benedettelli – but they have to put an end  also to the ballet of ‘Take it in exchange for…’”.

“As many (too many) women suffer harassment entering in a life-long pain, some women use their body in a greedy market logic. 

They are narcissistic, ambitious, skillful master of an erotic seduction that leaves no escape, innate abilities or learned from thousands articles on the internet or in women’s magazines that sounds like ‘How to seduce your boss’ or ‘How to seduce a married man’. 

These are women – exposes the essayist – who in turn become sexual molesters, but also usurpers of roles that should have been of those who prefer to reach their goals without a give-and-take behaviour”.

“Seduction is part of human nature. Of every relationship. But there is a limit to respect, and it regards the lives of other human beings and even equal opportunities, which must be truely equal. After passing the border, that seduction becomes abuseand it perpetrates the system that is partially (and rightly) being denounced”.  


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Barbara Benedettelli

Barbara Benedettelli è saggista e giornalista pubblicista. Socio fondatore e Vicepresidente dell'Osservatorio Nazionale Sostegno Vittime, da anni è vicina ai familiari delle Vittime dei reati violenti. Attualmente è Assessore a Città di Parabiago (Mi) con delega a Polizia Locale, prevenzione stradale, Protezione Civile e cultura.

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